That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
