he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
