I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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