You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
