I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
