yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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