my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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