And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
