Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
