Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
please come you make the beer taste better
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
