Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I came so hard my ears popped.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
