This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
