Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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