God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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