So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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