Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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