I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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