he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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