Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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