It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
