At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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