real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
