We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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