i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
