Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
