Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize