Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
