38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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