some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
