I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
