She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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