Sober January is a disaster.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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