Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
