Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
