I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
