just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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