he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
