I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
