6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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