You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
