This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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