nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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