He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Be still, my beating vagina.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
