I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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