All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
