can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
