That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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