Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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