just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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