Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
